Here are some insights you
may find useful on this topic. Men have just as many emotions
as women. Hard to believe right =)
So why dont they open
up about their emotions? Why does everything have to be
about the logic of the situation? Why does he focus on accomplishing
things at the expense of his relationships?
These are among the most infuriating
issues women face as they try to bridge the cultural gap
to create a loving and emotionally deep relationship with
a man.
There are several factors that
cause men to be less emotionally expressive.
Surprisingly, one of the most
important factors is simply a lack of practice. For some
men, there is actually a deficit in the vocabulary needed
for expressing complicated emotions like mixed feelings
about a relationship.
At the extreme, this difficulty
with communicating about feelings is called Alexithymia.
That term refers to the lack of appropriate knowledge of
the right words to use to express the subtle shades of emotion
felt within.
Its more common for a
man to have a mild version of this problem. Its more
likely he will feel something and not be exactly sure what
it is hes feeling, rather than lacking the knowledge
of the emotional words themselves.
Are you dating a man like this?
One of the easiest ways to tell is to pay attention to what
he doesnt say.
If he is showing interest in
you and obviously trying hard to express his true feelings
about an issue, only to pull away and become quiet in frustration,
he may be pulling away or changing the subject due to exasperation
with his inability to identify the right words to express
the mixed feelings he has inside.
How did this happen? Well,
the truth is, he grew up in a different culture than you
did. Men dont grow up sitting in circles on the playground
sharing their feelings. They grow up spending their time
trying to accomplish things in larger groups of boys with
a focus on external goals that you can see in the physical
world.
In addition to that, boys are
often discouraged from expressing some of their emotions.
Its not just fathers either. Mothers often do or say
things that subtly send the message to a boy that crying
does not suit him well.
In addition to all this, men
have a great fear of appearing weak. Expressing emotions
like joy, elation, or excitement about a job promotion will
be easy for your man. Admitting that hes feeling insecure
at work will be far more difficult for him.
Youre more likely to
see an irritated version of your boyfriend than a true expression
of the mix of fear and sadness driving his irritable mood.
At Be Irresistible we teach
a specific method for bypassing a mans difficulty
with opening up to his dating partner.
men's emotionsThere are ways
of working with a mans need for pride and respect
that will allow him to lean on you in an emotionally vulnerable
way. When he learns to do this, you will be a part of a
new world of deep intimacy that he has likely never shared
with anyone in his adult life.
Once a man begins to feel comfortable
talking about his emotions, he will need time to fully develop
his ability to express things of a subtle emotional nature.
Give him that time. It will be well worth your while.
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