Four Text Messages to Avoid. Text messages
are great. They allow for quick communication practically
anywhere. When you’re dating someone, they have the
very real potential to help your relationship grow.
But they can also hinder it.
A lot of people rely on text
messages to get something more than information. What do
they want? Attention and affirmation. They want to know
there’s still a warm connection.
Granted, it’s nice to
be on the receiving end of those kinds of messages sometimes.
The problem occurs when you get those kinds of messages
all of the time.
My advice is simple. Don’t
use text messages as an easy way of asking for attention
over and over again. Instead, send him messages that have
value.
Unfortunately, many of us are
in the habit of sending valueless text messages. I’ll
give you a few examples. I’m not saying you should
never send these kinds of messages. Just make sure you don’t
overuse them.
1.”I miss you.”
This can easily come across
as an attempt to get him to reply with, “I miss you,
too.” Frequent messages that sound like you’re
fishing for a specific response can make a guy feel trapped.
Don’t send this one too often.
2.”Hey” or “What’s up?”
The problem with these messages
is that there’s just no substance to them. Best case
scenario, you’re saying he’s on your mind, but
there’s nothing personal about it. At worst, they’re
thinly veiled requests for attention and nothing more.
3.”Have a great day!”
There’s nothing wrong
with wishing him a good day, but it’s much better to
be specific. Instead, say something like, “I’d
love to hear how your presentation goes!”
4.”Blah…When will
this day end? I’m bored.”
The hope here is that he’ll
entertain you. That’s fine if he’s stuck in the
waiting room at the dentist’s office, but not if he’s
busy with work or friends. Think about where he is and who
he’s with before hitting send.
All of your communication should
enrich his life in some way, including text messages. (Ok,
maybe that’s a bit perfectionistic, but just aim for
it as an ideal).
Text Messages to Avoid. Instead
of relying too much on messages like the ones above, make
your messages meaningful. You might share a funny story
to make him chuckle. Or tell him something interesting or
intellectually stimulating. Or deal with something practical,
like an invitation to an event you think he’ll enjoy.
You can even use a text message to give him the opportunity
to vent when you know he’s having a rough day.
The temptation is to focus
on the very natural desire to hold his attention. That’s
totally okay and totally normal.
But I want to encourage you
to win his attention by sharing something meaningful with
him. That will build your relationship in positive ways
and ensure that his face lights up each and every time he
gets a new message from you.
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